[365 days]

Today I turn 48. I don't feel 48 and my kids says I don't look 48 (I love my kids). I still feel like I'm in my 30's, not 2 years away from 50!  We did finish the 10K last month and I will confess I didn't feel like I was in my 30's that afternoon but I digress...

This little guy came to visit us today and it reminded me of God's beautiful creation and how He has a purpose for every creature. 

We had friends over last night to watch "Mom's Night Out" and one of my favorite parts is when they are talking about the momma eagle taking care of her babies and how peaceful she is just doing what God created her to do.  That's what He calls us to do too.  So many times we drive ourselves crazy doing things He never called us to do. 

So beginning today I will spend the next 365 days pursuing Him, asking Him to lead me to what He wants me to do, to lead me to be a better wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend and child of the one true King.  I know He has many changes in store for me this year. He has given me a glimpse of some of them and I am praying for His direction and clear guidance. 

I can't wait to see Him move!

[change is hard...]

Change is hard.  I don't like it.  Even when it's for good reasons.  Even when the things that God is leading me away from are good.

I have spent the last 10+ years in church lay leadership in various ministries.  It has been an amazing ride and I have learned so much from others and through those ministries.  It has been fulfilling and thrilling at times.  There are so many opportunities that I have been given.  But there are times when it hasn't been thrilling or fulfilling.  And let's just be completely honest, church leadership is hard and sometimes relationships are strained because of it.

But I started to hear God asking me if it was fulfilling because I was looking for the approval of others?  Was I doing it so I could tell others how busy I was or how much I was doing for Him and the church?  Do I enjoy hearing people say "You are going to have so many jewels in your crown in Heaven."  Is that what it's all about?  Will I be able to stand up with all those jewels weighing me down?  Am I concentrating on godly works but failing to spend time with the One who deserves all the glory?
During the tough times what were my motivations for continuing?  Am I just giving up by quitting?  Am I blaming others for my dissatisfaction?

And the big question - was I really doing it to further His Kingdom?  I wish I could say I was doing everything for His Kingdom all the time, but the reality is that my type A personality likes to be busy and I like to accomplish things.  There is a sense of satisfaction in bringing a program or activity to fruition.  Especially if everyone likes it.  But the reality is that my personal walk had suffered.  The urgent had taken over the important.  My quiet time suffered, my relationship with my husband and children suffered and being totally honest again, those ministries probably suffered.

I am in the process of stepping down from my "corporate" church leadership roles.  In some ways it has been easy (and a relief) and in some ways it has been harder.  There are areas that I have invested so much time and energy and I feel "ownership" of them.  But those areas belong to God and only He owns them.  Not me.  In some cases I am passing on the torch to very capable hands but in others I have stepped down with no one to lead.  I am trusting God that He will provide leadership for those areas or He will show clearly what needs to happen.

So what is God calling me to next?  I'll save that for another post.  But for now, I am clinging to Psalm 28:7 these days trusting and praising God for what He is teaching me right now and for what He has planned for the future.

[t minus 28 days]

Well we are getting close...only 28 days away.  We had a setback with so much snow that we hadn't run for two weeks straight.  Definitely felt that this morning.  We hope to get a few more runs in this week if the weather will hold out for us.

[t minus 42 days]

Today's results...

Working with a training team definitely pushes us to go farther...

Happy Valentine's Day!

[t minus 49 days]

So we did the unthinkable and signed up for a 10k race on March 28th.  We will do 2 5k's before that on March 7th and 14th.  Here are today's results...

It doesn't feel like we are making much processing given only 49 days to get to 6+ miles but we are certainly farther ahead than when we started.  

[own your life]

I am reading two books this month - Unstoppable by Christine Caine and Own Your Life by Sally Clarkson. I'll talk more about Unstoppable in another post.

I started reading Own Your Life today. I knew a little about it by not a lot. This is the first book I've read by Sally so I wasn't sure what to expect. 

My word for 2015 is intentional and what should I read today in the forward, not even into the chapters yet, but this...

"Am I being intentional? Am I making decisions based on biblical values? 

Am I choosing the pathways that will create deep, loving relationships and give value to the people personally connected to me? 

Am I willing to take risks of faith to invest my life in the things of eternity? 

Am I listening to the world or to the voice of God? Am I living with Christ and His life as the pattern for my own life? 

Do I see this day, these circumstances, as a place in which I can fulfill God’s will?"

Wow is all I can say. When God shows up He shows up! Can't wait to dig into this book more. 

[one word]

In 2014 I chose one word for the One Word Challenge and it was love.  I picked it and didn't think too much about it the rest of the year.  So for 2015 I have chosen the word "intentional."  I want to be more intentional about my life as it relates to spiritual, physical, mental, emotional and financial.  My plan is to write about one of these areas each week as the year progresses with intentionality (if that's a word).

[fall is here]

Finally, the first week of Fall 2014 is here. My most favorite time of year. It's still warm enough to wear capris and short sleeve shirts and cool enough at night to wear a sweatshirt. The leaves are starting to turn, the wind is picking up and the days are getting shorter. You can smell Fall in the air and it makes my heart go pitter patter. It's time to make bread (a first for me this year) and homemade taco soup. Olivia has been asking for it for a month but I told her we had to wait until Fall was officially here. So guess what she's getting it very soon.

Fall is a time of reflection for me. As the leaves die off and fall to the ground it reminds me that I have to let some things go. As hard as it is God is showing me that it's time.  I know He has plans for new life in the Spring.

He has been teaching and pruning me the last month with the Book of Acts.  At different times and events these pages of Scripture have come up more often than they ever have. I've read it many times before but it has taken on new meaning for me as He is showing me the power of the Holy Spirit as I've never felt it before. It is exhilerating and scary all at the same time. I know He has a plan and I am content to let Him show me that plan as He sees fit.

[last first day of school]

There's something about flipping the calendar to a new month or seeing that "1" on my iPad that signifies a new beginning.  This beginning has a whole different feeling.

18 years ago as we were awaiting the arrival of our first born the thought of him starting his senior year of high school seemed like an eternity away and yet it has passed so quickly. He has grown up even though I keep trying to keep him little. But instead of trying to stop time I will embrace it and celebrate the young man he has become and the life he has in front of him.  I will continue praying for him as he seeks to make his own way in the world and contemplates the major decisions he has to make over the next year. I will continue praying that his relationship with his Savior will continue to be the most important thing in his life and that it will continue to guide his decisions.  

Tomorrow is his last first day of school and we will celebrate it as much as we did his first day of Kindergarten. 

[end of one season, beginning of another]

The past few weeks have been the end of a lot of things...those things that come to their end in May and June.  The end of dance classes with the culmination of the "Recital,"  keyboard recitals, Spring Play, Prom, the end of our Word of Life clubs at church celebrating accomplishments with gold medals and a pool party, last week of my precious ladies Bible study, and of course the last day of school for my babies.  I'm not sure who is more excited, me or those babies.  Just as the beginning of the year is exciting, the end of the year brings it's own excitement and stress.  But once its finished we move on to the things of summer - Word of Life camp (my all-time favorite), lazy days with nothing to do and no where to be, 4th of July.  More time to read for fun, BBQs and ice cream!  Of course Vacation Bible School, Sports Camp and getting a team ready to head to West Africa are squeezed in there too.

I am looking forward to what the Summer has to bring, what God has to show me and how His mercies are new every morning.


Here's a few funny pictures from a graduation party we attended last weekend.

[waiting]

Wow...three posts in three days. Not sure if I can keep this up. My goal is once a week but I'd settle for once a month. I have been letting my hair grow out. And it's about this time that I get frustrated and chop it all off but I'm trying to hang in there. This is about 6 months. It takes sooo long but I thought I would track the progress. 

[new life]

May 1st - a new month, a clean slate, a new beginning. Having just turned 47, the big 50 isn't that far away. To be honest I don't feel that old. I feel like I am in my mid-thirties. Other then aging eyes and bones and about 30 pounds I feel pretty good. Of course 3 kids help with that as well (old and young all at the same time). There are so many things left to,do, to start, to see. Like visiting Disney (which we've never done) and a trip to Israel (maybe once the kids leave home). But today, I choose to make small changes, small plans that may lead to those bigger goals and dreams. So daily I choose to kiss my husband and kids and tell them I love them, count the gifts that I am thankful for, tell my story through a picture a day, spending time with my Savior through the Word He gave me and the studies His teachers have supplied. Exercising 3 times a week even when I don't feel like it and fostering new and old relationships, loving others like Jesus loves me.

[good works]

I've been camping out on Ephesians 2:10 today. "For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." I think a lot of times we focus on the part that says we were created to do good works. But I know that a lot of times I ignore the second part that says those good works that God prepared in advance for me. There are so many good works in this world but I am only called to do those He has prepared for me. Those things that I say yes to that overwhelm my calendar may be the good works that He prepared in advance for someone else.

[perfection...not]

I took 2 weeks of vacation over the Christmas and New Year's break.  We all got to sleep in and lounge around the house for 2 weeks and 3 weekends.  It was so needed...I think we rented a dozen movies from Redbox and watched every Hallmark, Lifetime and UP TV Christmas movie ever made.

The first week was baking and getting ready for Christmas.  By the second week we started to get into a routine of hanging out as a family, keeping the house straight and actually keeping the laundry up.  So when I went back to work the Monday after New Year's I was determined that I was actually going to get organized and attempt to keep the house straight and maybe even make dinner a couple of times a week.

If you know me, then you know that I don't have any domestic abilities at all.  Of course that is an exaggeration but keeping my house straight, let alone clean, is a major endeavor.  Add on that I am a perfectionist who will procrastinate if I can't do it all exactly perfect at one time so you can imagine how much dust has accumulated over time.  Now I am the first to admit that I have done a horrible job of enlisting my children to help with the major housework.  That's a project and a post for another day.

And so I digress...I searched around the web for the perfect organization tool that will whip me in shape and get this house looking good all the time.  It's almost overwhelming all that is out there and how many experts there are to choose from.  I really wanted to have the spiritual aspect to this so I ended up finding The Confident Mom.  I had heard of her before and even bought the 2013 Weekly Household Planner but never used it.  So I downloaded the 2014 version (it's free by the way).  For now I think it will work for me.  I like it because it is broken down by the week and she gives you examples of activities to do over the week to help you get it all done in little bites.  I know that I will have to adjust it to fit our lifestyle but's that's ok.  It's a place to start and I guess getting started is the hardest thing to do.

So I started today and one project that was way overdue is our master bathroom.  Now when we built our house in 1999 we only had one child.  The house has 2 full bathrooms and one half bath and another potential full bath in the basement if we ever get around to finishing it.  We've since added two more kids who insist on using the master bath instead of their own.  So that means 4 of us are trying to get ready in one bathroom every day.  I cleaned off the entire surface and the cabinets underneath.  I filled up half of a large trash bag.  It was pretty gross.  I can't tell you how much dust there was.  But here it is now and hopefully we can keep it that way.  I should have taken a before picture but let's just say that the left sink was completely filled with stuff so we could only actually use the right sink.

That gave me a small burst of energy and I cleaned out my bedside table.  Threw a bunch of stuff away in there too.  How does it all accumulate?


On a side note we did get out of the house a little over the break...2 movies (Frozen & Saving Mr. Banks, both excellent), the trains at Bevell's Hardware (an annual tradition) and for the first time the Newport News Celebration of Lights.  Our Christmas Eve service and New Year's Day prayer service at church were very special too.

[2014]

A new year...new beginnings. A chance to start out with a blank slate, a clean white page, a new calendar. What does this new year hold? Praying for wisdom this year and a deeper relationship with my Savior.

[Day 13]

Today is day 13 of my social media fast and to be honest I haven't missed it very much. I did find myself checking email more often and checking the news.  Next time I will need to delete the news channels too.  It will be interesting to see if I am able to control the amount of time on them after tomorrow.  My hope is that it will be easier now.  More to come...

[what...no facebook?]

Today is day one of my social media fast.  No Facebook, no twitter, no Instagram and no Pinterest.  I've done ok so far.  I haven't even had a desire to look.  I also haven't picked up my phone as much.  I read a few chapters in my book, went bike reading with Olivia through the neighborhood and will read some more when I get home from church.  Overall a good first day...

[beginning...again]

I didn't want to do it. I tried to talk myself out of it. I wanted butter pecan ice cream instead. But I did it...

And yes I will hurt in the morning. Maybe I will get brave enough to actually post this for others to see. But until then this will have to do.

[summer...]

So here we are a couple of days after the 4th and it seems that summer is already on it's way out.  Isn't true that we spend so much time in the current season wishing it was the next season instead of just soaking up where we are today?  The sun is out bright today and it's going to be hot but that's ok.  It wasn't that long ago that we were complaining about the cold.  So here's to today and all the blessings it brings.

                                                                Schroon Lake, NY

[brand new year]

We are 19 days into the new year and I haven't blogged yet, even though one of my goals was to blog once a week.  So many goals and so little time...